When we’re traveling, it can be easy to get a feeling of homesickness. But the bigger question is, what really do we consider a home? Is it the places we live, the people we spend time with, or the experiences we have? We dive into the topic of home and share some of our thoughts and personal stories as we try to begin to work towards how we define and view what “home” means to both Caroline and me.

What does home mean to you? (please send us a DM on Instagram or leave a comment below, we’d love to hear.)

Show Notes

 

If you’re curious what a smaller more high pitched Ian looked like referencing the audio of me as a kid. ^^

Seriously, we do have a pooping while traveling article. Read it here: The Shitty Side of Traveling

Interested in the Bulgaria trip we discussed? Visit: www.www.lifenomading.com/bulgaria

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Credits

Hosted by:

Caroline Lloyd: @caromanifesto
Ian Hoyt: @IanHoyt

Editing help by:

Laura Samulionyte

 

Show Transcript

Caroline Lloyd: Now that we know Ian loves going, we’re sponsored by a laxative, a sponsor.

Ian Hoyt: We do have a pooping article that will link to since we did mention that you should read it. It’s about pooping while traveling.

Caroline Lloyd: Anyway, that’s why I’m a home body. I don’t know.

Ian Hoyt: Where you can stay regular

Ian Hoyt: Hey there, fellow nomads. This is Ian

Caroline Lloyd: And Caroline

Ian Hoyt: And this is the Life Nomading podcast.

Ian Hoyt: Hey there, fellow nomads. It’s Ian and Caroline and welcome back to another episode of the Life Nomding podcast. Caroline is making fun of me because I use my hands when I talk into the mic.

Caroline Lloyd: Conducting a choir over here when he’s talking.

Ian Hoyt: I’m conducting the podcast, dedication to the creative process. It’s episode number six, six weeks. I’m very impressed by us. I’m proud that we’re cranking out episodes and I feel like we’re getting better. I don’t know. Please let us know how we’re doing in a review on iTunes. Shameless plug.

Caroline Lloyd: Today we are really deep diving into a new kind of topic for us. Um, you know, typically we’re talking about traveling and all things related, but we’re dialing it back a little bit this week and we’re talking about home.

Ian Hoyt: They probably knew that by the title already.

Caroline Lloyd: You clicked on it.

Ian Hoyt: But yeah, we’re going to talk a little bit about what home means to us and what it means to travel.

Caroline Lloyd: So just I think to start off we should orient ourselves and say what home means to us because I think by this point in life we both realize that home isn’t a physical house, but much more than that. So Ian, what does home mean to you?

Ian Hoyt: Yeah, I think home is definitely not necessarily about the location as much as the people or as much as the combination of the two. You know, when I was growing up, I lived in three different houses, which I think is fairly normal for the average human in America. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

Caroline Lloyd: I lived in the same house for my entire life. My parents still live in the house that I was brought home from the hospital to, which I think is odd for most people living in the U.S today.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah, and you know, it’s actually really kind of funny is I lived in three different houses, had maybe a little bit of a different upbringing just because I lived with my mom and my sister. My Dad had passed away when I was younger, so it was a little bit different. But what’s really interesting is every time we would move or think about moving, I remember distinctly that my mom would always be really concerned that my sister and I would be really sad to leave the house that we lived in and I always innately just thought that was crazy. I was like, mom, it’s, it’s a house. Like it’s whatever. Like sure you get used to the house you’re living in, in, in your room and things like that. But the things I remember are the intangible things, the things that didn’t revolve around the doors and the rooms, but the things that I did there,

Ian’s Mom: Wave to the camera. Say Happy New Year!

Ian Hoyt: From, you know, recording youtube videos in the backyard with Robbie, Robbie. Shout out one of my best friends.

Ian Hoyt: Robert’s potato eating contest in Alabama we are EXSCN and we’re going to be covering the Browns training camp first.

Caroline Lloyd: So those videos are still on YouTube. So please go look for them. They’re the best.

Ian Hoyt: I will give you extra Brownie points if you can find them on the Internet. So, um, but yeah, like recording videos in the back yard or playing in the snow in it was a different house than that one. So like the memories are what stick with me. It’s not about the walls. And so maybe that’s why I thought it was always crazy when my mom would ask that question. She still does today.

Ian’s Mom: Okay. Do you like your new house? Look over here buddy. Ian, look right here. Do you like your new house?

Ian Hoyt: If they were to move. We don’t live there anymore, but like she, she always brings that up. It’s like, no, I really don’t care about that. It’s about the memories and the things I did there that involved people. And activities and so I think that’s kind of interesting because I bow that with really how I view home in general now and it’s not so much about the location but the experiences that culminate in a similar area. So that’s kind of what I think. What do you think Caroline? What does home mean to you?

Caroline Lloyd: Well, I said that I lived in the same house growing up from when I was born until, I mean now my parents still live there.

Ian Hoyt: My question is, were you a baby in the room that you stayed at your whole life? Or did you change rooms at all?

Caroline Lloyd: Yes. Not my current bedroom, but like now it’s still. I have my things in the room. My bedroom was my baby room. It’s gone through several iterations. It was teddy bears and then it was Minnie Mouse and then it was very brightly colored and high school and now my parents have painted it a new neutral colors.

Caroline Lloyd: So when guests go in there they aren’t blinded. It used to be yellow. I don’t know why I chose yellow for my room.

Ian Hoyt: I could see that.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah. But, you know, home is, I think, boils down to people and the feeling that people give you when you are around them and you care for them a lot. And also I think memories slash rituals or routines. I mean, I know that every time I go home I kind of get into the same routine, even like down to what I eat when I’m at home, when I fixed in the kitchen because my mom always buys the same groceries. I know what certain things I can make in the kitchen. Um, and you know, going to a certain coffee shops where I had a lot of memories growing up in high school or restaurants in the area. And you know, one thing that I really love is home videos because I think that totally encapsulates what home is. And all of your experiences and memories are recorded in a very timeless way, uh, to reflect back on.

Ian Hoyt: By timeless you mean super pixelated?

Caroline Lloyd: The date printed on the bottom right hand corner

Ian Hoyt: and a button that you can press on the recorder that does like the Auto Fade from one clip.

Caroline Lloyd: Oh my gosh. Yes. I have so many like home films like that to the point where it’s like ridiculous. My family, I feel like my parents basically just handed me and my sister’s a video camera when we first got it and it was a novel technology and we got really creative. My oldest sister Emily was like bossy creative director and would make these really embarrassing short films of me and my sister. Um, but I’m so thankful for that because they’re really fun to watch now.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah. I’m so thankful too because we get to watch them together.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah. Every time I go home my mom has just transferred them all to dvds and we sit and we watch them. But don’t tell me you don’t enjoy those.

Ian Hoyt: They are very enjoyable, especially the pageant ones, but we don’t need to talk about that.

Caroline Lloyd: It is a scholarship program.

Ian Hoyt: Whatever you wanna call ’em.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah. But for me, I think home is people memories and uh, routines.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah. I feel like we’re, we’ve got some similarities there then, so we’re not crazy. All right. So that’s kind of what home means to us. So with that being said, I guess another aspect of this is feeling homesick and where and when. So like Caroline and when have you felt most homesick, was there, is there a specific time in your life or a moment or a place that you can recall?

Caroline Lloyd: I think like the first inkling of being homesick happen when I was a kid at camp, you know, when you’re like, I don’t know, in a bratty stage of life or like people start making clicks and you’re like in a new environment and you just feel very out of place. Uh, you don’t have your normal group of friends and it’s a stressful time when you’re like nine years old and then, and that’s kind of like your first taste of it and then maybe you go away for like a longer period of time. I mean I spent like four weeks in an arts camp when I was in high school and while that was a long time to be away from home, even when I was like 15 or 16 years old. That is a long time. And I dunno, I think it’s like your first step towards really changing your life and I’m so thankful that I had those experiences at a young age because I feel like it enabled me to go on and, you know, not be afraid of going to college six states away from my home base and leaving to make entirely new friends.

Caroline Lloyd: I didn’t know anyone when I moved out to Texas. I didn’t know anyone when I moved to New York. Like I think it gives you the confidence to really change your life and start building something on your own.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah, I could see that a lot. That’s interesting. I feel like for me, I would have to say probably the first inklings that I really think I felt homesick because, you know, quite honestly I’m kind of weird. I feel really comfortable when I’m on the move and we can talk about that more later. But like college was definitely a moment when I felt homesick but not because I necessarily missed home because I loved the whole independence thing. I can do my own thing and like, you know, whatever. But I think it was just not being in an environment that I wanted to be in or that I thought I would be in. So I think there’s a complex there.

Caroline Lloyd: No, I think what you’re saying of being in an uncomfortable situation and pushing that towards more homesick than not because I do believe that there are places and people that you meet, that you spend time with that you immediately feel at home. And I think it’s the uncomfortableness of certain situations that propels you into feeling homesick.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah. And that’s probably why I felt that in college also. I just wasn’t my speed college. It wasn’t my thing. And so it made everything kinda weird. But ironically, like when I moved to New York, I didn’t feel homesick at all. I was super excited to be here. And although for the first few months it was just me kind of like navigating the world in a way. I still didn’t feel homesick. I don’t know how homesickness happens necessarily. Kind of weird.

Caroline Lloyd: I think we can boil it down to like homesickness is really craving a level of comfort that you are not in in that moment. I think there were definitely times when I had first moved to New York where I was sick or like things weren’t panning out exactly the way that I had thought and I was in a level of comfort that was a little bit too low in that leads to homesickness.

Ian Hoyt: On the inverse though, I feel travel sick a lot and I know that sounds funny, but I feel the opposite in a way. You know, like I have this sickness to get away and so I don’t know what you, the listener feel, but you’re not alone if you have that feeling. Now I’m not trying to sound cliche, but I really do have that feeling of like I always need to be moving and when I’m home too long and I’m not doing something, I’m not going to go see something. I get that travel sickness and that’s the only way I can name it because I don’t know what you’d call that. Travel sickness I guess.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah. I think that’s a real thing.

Caroline Lloyd: So if we’re homesick, what are we homesick for and where do you feel most at home?

Ian Hoyt: Going back to what I was just mentioning, this is not a non answer. I feel most at home, typically when I’m going somewhere.

Caroline Lloyd: When you’re excited.

Ian Hoyt: No, not even the excited part. It’s the actual physical going, I love going to airports and I love going. I just love going and so like anytime that I can get, don’t get me wrong, I’m a walking contradiction because I’m a homebody in a lot of ways, but there is no better feeling to me then leaving my apartment and getting in an uber or getting in a car or get on the subway and going journeying to somewhere else. Doesn’t matter where, but the act of going is where I feel where I feel most in control. I don’t know why. I have no clue why, but it’s weird and that’s where I feel most at home if we’re being honest.

Caroline Lloyd: You know? That’s a really deep. That’s a complicated question, especially for me because growing up I recognize this about myself in a very early age. Like we’re talking like fifth grade here. I have a hard time.

Ian Hoyt: What kind of fifth grader or were you?

Caroline Lloyd: Well, I’m about to tell you I skipped fifth grade actually.

Ian Hoyt: Let’s all take a collective second to roll our eyes one. Alright, let’s go.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah, but I think that plays into it. I recognize that at a young age that I didn’t attach myself to things or people really. I skipped fifth grade and change school districts even though I didn’t move, I left all my friends behind. Did the same thing in eighth grade when I went to high school, I graduated from high school and I chose a college to go to that was, you know, a thousand miles away in a different state where I didn’t know anyone.

Caroline Lloyd: And then when I graduated from there I came to New York and basically started over. So they’re jumping off points in my life when I pretty much picked up everything and just moved. So for me, I felt like I spent a lot of those years creating new homes for myself and I’m thankful for that now because I have pockets of friends scattered all over the country internationally as well and when I visit all those places again, I definitely get a sense of home because I invested a certain amount of years of my life in those places and those people. So that’s a very long winded answer. But I feel most at home when I can reconnect with a place that I invested time in and just for that brief moment of revisiting that place, it’s a nice overwhelming feeling of this is a home for me.

Caroline Lloyd: So this is a more complicated question I guess for you Ian, but have you ever encountered a place that was new that you immediately felt at home at?

Ian Hoyt: Not Complicated at all. New York.

Caroline Lloyd: That’s Different. I feel like a lot of people say that.

Ian Hoyt: It’s not a cop out. The answer is going to sound like a cop out, but I think it boils down to being a person that I just admitted that I love to go. I said it like a thousand times. I think New York is like one of the few places you can manifest that feeling every single day you’re here, whether it’s getting on the subway or just trying to fricken get from one block to another. I get that sense. I get that feeling anytime I’m here and that’s why I knew I needed to be here in my heart of hearts. So New York so happens to be where I live and it so happens to be you where I felt most at home, away from home and so now it is my home and that’s the best answer I can give.

Caroline Lloyd: I think I have to jump in here and say that I am the wise one in this conversation. No, I think that once you’ve lived here longer than what you have, it’s a little bit different and obviously New York wears and tears on people differently, but there have been several moments in my four or five years living here when I thought I was done because New York kind of burns you at both ends. I’m saying all of this to caveat with I think it’s important to leave where you are and get away to then return and have a new found appreciation for wherever you live.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah, definitely. I think the, going back to whole, the whole homesickness thing, I think getting away from your home base or where you spend most of your time is good to reimagine and to miss it. There’s an aspect of missing things that plays into this conversation.

Caroline Lloyd: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Do you ever like travel and not pack a certain article of clothing and then when you get home and you open up your drawer, you find it and you’re like, Oh, I’ve missed this so much.

Ian Hoyt: Oh, absolutely.

Caroline Lloyd: I love that feeling. And then you try on that dress or those shoes and you’re like, Oh, I missed wearing these shoes so much.

Ian Hoyt: Yeah, I subletted for like a year and a half and when we finally moved all my stuff from home home, I was like, oh, I forgot about that. And I was like, Oh yes, like yeah, that’s where that t shirt was.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah. As much as we talk about home being like a in tangible philosophical thing, like there is something really rewarding about like digging through your closet in your childhood home and finding like pictures that you drew in second grade and like old school notebooks with notes that you wrote to your friends.

Ian Hoyt: All my love letters that back and forth to my childhood girlfriends.

Caroline Lloyd: I need to dig through your drawers.

Ian Hoyt: They’re Probably like really ridiculous.

Caroline Lloyd: I love doing that and it’s contradictory to me as a person because I love going through things and like throwing things out.

Ian Hoyt: She, um, she’s the purger.

Caroline Lloyd: I know, but I’m also like, I’m such a sucker and a pack rat for all those stupid little notes and fun little things that you can go back and reminisce on

Ian Hoyt: For sure. But Caroline, what about yourself? Is there a place that’s away from your home that made you instantly kind of feel like, oh, that’s where I feel most at home?

Caroline Lloyd: I think there’s two versions of this answer and one is when you’re actually looking for a home and you get that feeling, that’s a very different thing than visiting a place and thinking, I feel at home here, so I mean obviously when you’re like looking for a new apartment or house shopping, you want to get that feeling of home right when you walk in and I’ve definitely had several examples of that. I mean when I was touring college campuses for example, you want to have that feeling when you walk onto a certain campus and you say, I feel at home here, this feels right. I think that’s the kind of like gut instinct, but to kind of divert from your answer, I think the more important question at hand is where have you visited that feels like home? And for me, I think that was, you know, just from like all of our travels, I would have chosen Vienna.

Caroline Lloyd: I think that I can talk about Vienna forever, but it’s just a lovely city and it feels the right tempo. I think there’s definitely a tempo aspect and I can get into that philosophy a lot deeper.

Ian Hoyt: Which is weird because it’s different than. It’s way different than New York.

Caroline Lloyd: Yeah, but it’s just like good speed with all the right aspects. I felt like, I mean I’m not going to like build a life there, but I felt in some alternative dimension I could. Yeah, but even that is relative because you know, maybe if I would have visited Vienna 20 years later in life, I wouldn’t have gotten that feeling. I think it’s just depends on who you are in that moment.

Ian Hoyt: And you’re gonna throw your arms up because it really is. It’s all relative to your life stage, what you’re trying to accomplish, your goals like home is who you’re with and visiting with, where you are in your life at that point. It’s going to change. I had a home with six other dudes in Columbus and now I have a home with a lovely lady and a roommate and the cat.

Caroline Lloyd: So that’s a little bit of a break from your normal travel information, but I think it is just as important to recognize a home base and an anchor when you’re traveling as it is to plan all the fun details. So that’s it for this week. We will see you here again next Monday and we know that this episode is a little bit different than your normal broadcast of travel…

Ian Hoyt: But let us know what you think. We’re always trying to push the bounds of what we can talk about on this travel podcast. We want to make it more intriguing to you instead of just lists of things you should definitely do. So, uh, let us know in the reviews on iTunes, you can subscribe to us on overcast, spotify, apple, itunes, any other podcast platform that you can find us on we’d love if you subscribed. And, um, we’re here every Monday.

Caroline Lloyd: So if you have thoughts or comments or questions, feel free to send us a DM on Instagram @ lifenomading. So until next week I’m Caroline

Ian Hoyt: And I’m Ian and go explore something. See yah!

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Author Ian Hoyt

Founder of Life Nomading, Ian Hoyt has devoted the better part of his adult life to exploring and sharing his travel experiences with others through the Life Nomading podcast, blog, and group trips. In his free time, he travels, and then travels some more, and then enjoys guilty pleasures like NYC Prince St. Pizza or local Harlem eats when at home base in New York City.

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